As most people know I'm a huge fan of rap music, and Chris Rock put it best by saying;"I don't care how old I am, I'm always gonna loooove rap music". I got into rap music at a young age and haven't looked back since. I've lived through reversed clothing, Moet sippers, puffy jackets, high top fades, east versus west, DMX yelling, the southside takeover and now I live in a world filled with highly technical choreographed hip hop anthem dance's. I think I speak for the majority of the guys when I say....I will too one day superman that ho!!
As I sit at my desk reflecting on the essence of hip hop and rap music, I'm reminded of one of the great's in particular....The Notorious B.I.G. His lyrics always connected to all ages and gender's accross the world, and as I take a closer look to what Biggie was saying it makes perfect sense.
Biggie's Lyrics:
First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin’ money
Those the ones I like ‘cause they don’t get nathan’
But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
However, I stay coochied down to the socks
Rings and watch filled with rocks
TRANSLATION:
As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude magazine models, and prostitutes. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and expensive jewelry.
Biggie's Lyrics:
And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit
TRANSLATION:
I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations, some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such actions are unacceptable.
Biggie's Lyrics:
Don’t see my ones, don’t see my guns - get it
Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
I don’t know what the hell’s stoppin’ ya
I’m clockin’ ya - Versace shades watchin’ ya
Once ya grin, I’m in game, begin
TRANSLATION:
Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I’m having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.
Biggie's Lyrics:
First I talk about how I dress and this
And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses
The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
Climax that your man can’t make
Call and tell him you’ll be home real late
Let’s sing the break
TRANSLATION:
I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn’t be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won’t be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.
Biggie's Lyrics:
She’s sick of that song on how it’s so long
Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans
Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
Schemin’ - don’t bring your girl ‘round me
True player for real, ask Puff Daddy
TRANSLATION:
Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.
Biggie's Lyrics:
You - ringin’ bells with bags from Chanel
Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
She beeped me, meet me at twelve
TRANSLATION:
Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle) containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at midnight.
Lyrics:
Where you at? Flippin’ jobs, playin’ car notes?
While I’m swimmin’ in ya women like the breast stroke
Right stroke, left stroke what’s the best stroke
Death stroke - tongue all down her throat
Nuthin’ left to do but send her home to you
I’m through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?
TRANSLATION:
You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman. Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to request that she leave my home and return to you because I have reached orgasm and no longer have a need for her presence.
Biggie's Lyrics:
So, what’s it gonna be? Him or me?
We can cruise the world with pearls
Gator boots for girls
The envy of all women, crushed linen
Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in ‘em
The finest women I love with a passion
Ya man’s a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin’
TRANSLATION:
The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will dress you in the finest jewelry and footwear. You will be envied by women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelry. There is a special place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an altercation because he is effeminate.
Biggie's Lyrics:
High fashion - flyin’ into all states.
Sexin’ me while your man masturbates.
Isn’t this great? Your flight leaves at eight.
Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds.
Lyrically I’m supposed to represent.
I’m not only the client, I’m the player president
TRANSLATION:
You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelry. You will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I’ll return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o’clock flight. The timing is perfect because I have scheduled a date with a second woman who arrives at the same gate at 9 o’clock. I’ll seduce her in the same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive reflection of my home town. Not only am I a sexually deviant, misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the board of directors of the organization that governs others of my kind.
Not only did he have a way with words....but he always sported a clean pair of slacks!! It's no wonder he was able to connect with us all.
8 comments:
Best Blog post....evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LB Out
Speaking of lyrics in the rap game,
Dude with no swag you only got LB to blame,
Yes it’s such a shame,
Move him out cause its 613 we want to claim!,
Y’all know Sweezy’s back on top,
Take a moment and thank god for hip-hop,
Weather check you know Lil Wayne makes it rain,
While Sweezy’s got these fans holding there breath longer then David Blain,
Got him on the streets changing coffee to money,
I’m on the streets changing dimes to real cash money,
I aint no normal kind of dude,
If you got a Styrofoam cup…throw it up for chopped n screwed,
Sippin’ on that purple drank you must agree,
Can’t roll with Sweeze unless u’ve been approved a 5 star G,
Up in the club at Prive,
LB’s in a deep sleep screaming ay BAY BAY,
After hours on that Patron,
Got the number 911 from this police matron,
It’s all good so let me get locked up,
Imma chill with that Ron B in my cup,
3 words “im outta here”,
Walkin out with best lyrics medal of the year!,
Take it easy,
It’s Sweezy,
Oh so breezy,
I’m on my grind and I’ve lost my mind,
After bumpin my shit just press rewind!
Sweezy
Lost your mind? That’s right, you gone and lost your mind,
Pushin out lyrics, like it's YOUR game,
It's not your game, we've only got you to blame,
cheap lyrics, and the same old song,
LB and Sweezy it's time to go,
You think this is a battle,
Please, you're drowning, go grab a paddle,
LB and Sweezy, you MIGHT be back,
But they don't know,
About Waldo,
she comin up slow,
to take the title,
shit, this isn't even a battle.
WALDO
What a laugh seeing this Waldo try and rhyme,
Incidents like this should be considered a crime,
You say you got us to blame and I say “oh forrrsurrre”,
Your rap was so bad the Doc’s on overtime trying to find a cure,
Waldo, she’s coming up slow,
Off her knees she’s about to blow,
Ok, let’s keep it clean for this sound alike teen,
Just stop rapping cause your turning faces green,
Waldo is right, this aint no battle,
Cause if she’s serious she must be Lost in Seattle,
No point trying to find the red and white stripe shirt,
Only to find Waldo buried in the rap cemetery dirt!
Sweezy
I be that red and white stripped pimp in the back,
Go ahead and look for me but don't break your back,
Oh that’s right you can’t see me….sweezy
Better known as Mr. Drops a rhyme weekly.
I’ve had to drop my game to your level…you with no spine,
I’ll rip you anytime even tipsy off beer, liquor or wine!!
If Weezy knew you stole his name with what you call flow….
Just embarrassing…dog you need to quite and shut your hole.
You’ve been battling a sleepy banker with no game,
All I can do is sit back and laugh at you lames’.
Pick your jaw up off the ground and wipe that drool from your face,
This just happened….Waldo won closed case.
And I’m not talking CSI,
I’m talkin’ bout you looking like Tash with a black eye!
Knockout Sweezy,
Keep dreamin’!!!
WALDO
Look who it is its Casper our friendly ghost,
Rhymes like yours has you banned from the Preston St Italian coast,
Don’t you worry I can see you oh so good,
You know my pants below my waste cause “I’m sooo Hood”,
Not looking for you cause I wouldn’t want to “break my back”,
Lyrics like that got people thinking your on crack,
Fat Joe welcomes you to the Crack House,
When it comes to eating rappers alive, I’m the cat or you’re the little mouse,
Let’s just get one thing straight,
Or get Ice Cube to tell you those real rappers “push rhymes like weight”,
Waldo hope your enjoying your one day spotlight,
Reply to you ever becoming a rapper is you fakin MIIIIIGHT!,
Go back to your keyboard,
You ain’t no 19 year old G ridin’ in an Escort Ford,
Mackin’,
Stackin’
Money, Mula, Billz,
Your flows so weak it’s making people pop depression pillz,
Waldo please stop right here,
Don’t let hip-hop die within a year,
Stick to your Olive loving Martini,
Get a new career so just rub and hope for the genie,
No more time to play this silly game,
Even the real Waldo knows his name has been put too shame,
So stop writing, rapping, whatever you think you’re doing,
Turn the oven off too stop this fake rapper from brewing!
SWEEZY
k, k, i thought i'd give it a shot since, Jeff, the sleepy banker was TKO'd yesterday, and I needed some entertainemnt! LOL too funny...I have to say i gave it a fair shot!
Not bad Waldo, not bad at all....but when it comes to battles your in Level 1 when I warp right to Level 8 lol im jk. Good battle!
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