B-Day to B-mores.....it's all good!

There's no better way to wake up after 5 hours of sleep than to your sister banging down your door, yelling to wake the F up!! Most people would snap, but now it's gotten to the point where it's just expected from her. Reason for the early morning yelling, is because it's the Doctors birthday so I gotta get up to do 'family stuff'. In the Hindu tradition, it's a must that on your birthday you wear a new article of clothing, so of course the Doctor rolls over looking fresh to def in a new Armani shirt. I'm still mangled from the night before so he rolls right up to my grill.....'why the fuck is your right eye twitching??'. I'm thinking that it might be the 80 drinks I've had in the past 10days, or maybe the Big Mac with Nuggets, or maybe even the one meal a day I've been having for a week.....but my response.......Allergies!! BAAAHHHHH.

The family hangs out for a bit, then the Doctor has this genius I idea to hit up a patio downtown and get started on killing some drinks. Just waking up from a 10day bender, most people would look at the Doc and call him crazy, but instead I begin to tear up and thank god he's my bro!! Couple minutes later I find myself in a familiar spot......at the bar at 11:30am ordering a round of Corona's. The weather was perfect and the donks were in abundance as far as my cloudy vision could see. My sis and Sanchez came too, and the food and drinks kept coming!! We rolled out after a bit and then I took my bro shopping to get him something for his bday. I ended up getting him a digital camera, hoping that his paparazzi career will one day take off and hopefully be my ticket to one day meet Lohan.

Round 2 starts and we head to a family dinner, where once again eat less drink more took place. Why order the biggest meal on the menu, have one bite and kill three beers instead.......Sweezy knows why!! This was essentially the beggining to what was to become one of the sloushiest nights of my life. I was dead tired but my body knew that it was the Doctor's bday, so it wasn't about to let me down. The pre-drink went down at the Row with LB, Sweezy, Memory, Cult Jam, Chi-Chi and Boriqois. Drinks were drunk, then off to Donny's for more drinks that were drunk! The Doc met up with all his boys, then we grabbed Ch-Chi, better known as the Mayor of Barrymores, and made our way over to the club. The lineup was retarded long, but being with the Mayor has it's privileges.....no waiting in line, and plenty of eye candy!!! The night was kinda hazy but I'll point out some key events from the best of my knowledge.......Drinks were being downed as if they had an expiry date of 3 minutes on them, shots were flying as if we were at a Compton house party with Sweezy, donks were being grinding harder than cheese on a grater, and this all in turn lead to me running up and down the street with a box of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts in my hand.

Being back at work today, I'm reminded by a colleague today......'yo man you remember seeing me on Sunday??'. WTF, NO! The night was a success since Memory got some ho's digits, I mean an old fashioned wholesome girls digits, Sweezy drink more then work, and the Doc & LB hit the wall came back and hit the wall again!! I wish I could tell you more but after harrasing GP for having a $4.75 tab on her C-Card, I don't remember much except for waking up on a small ass couch fully dressed from the night before and then realizing that I'm in GP's family room. I can only thank god that today is a holiday and I can just take it easy and hopefully recover from one of the greatest headaches I've ever experienced in my life!!! Little do I know that I'm about to experience the complete opposite of what I want, but with my clean slacks on I guess anything is possible!!

P.S. Do you remeber the back of my Lac with the suicide doors??

Never Let a Soldier Down...

After last night's fiasco I ended up crashing at LB's place not knowing what my name was or what the hell happened that night until I read the blog. I woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing and jumped out of bed wondering if it was the cops.....only to find out it was some turd looking for LB's dad.

I rolled out of LB's place soon after with GP and her cousin and then headed home, a little worried cause my parents had no clue where I was. As I get home, I see this giant 2 ton truck in my driveway loading all the garbage from our garage......it's Domination working his ass off like usual!!! I sneak into the house and change into some ghetto gear and start helping Domination load up the truck. A couple of minutes later who shows up still drunk and wearing my clothes....LB and the Doctor!!! We all start launching shit into the truck, and then after we're done find out that we have to go to the dump to unload the truck!!! If you've ever been to a dump you know what I'm about to say, but for those of you who are virgin's......listen close. It's probably one of the nastiest places I've ever been in my life, and I've slept in Bean's basement. I began unloading the truck but as soon as my shift was up I blew my brains out from the stench!! I was sooooo nasty, and my throat is still burning.

I passed the fuck out all day after that and woke up at 8pm, basically with nothing else on my mind except for a cold drink. I got ready and Memory came by to scoop me so we could go to LB's place to get our drink on. Once again the whole crew showed up...Sweezy(who ditched a wedding to roll with the fam), Doctor and Cult Jam. We began to get our drink on, and everybody starting ripping on the whole blogging thing, so to all you fuckers I say.....FUCK YOU!!!!

We rolled downtown all with a good buzz, and began to run the city like Diddy. GP was already there holding down a VIP booth with her fam, and we came in without saying a word and already had a bar tab waiting for us. Sweezy didn't fuck around and made sure to order enough Polar Bears to make Yukon jealous. He did real good. The drinks kept coming and the night got hazy.....most of my crew left but it didn't matter to me because it was Doctor's bday and I wasn't about to go anywhere without him. My boss from work showed up and began pulling me in for some heart to hearts....but it's all good. Sanchez was beat as can be so he rolled out with my sis.....then the Doctor and I rolled over to meet the rest of the crew at Velvet Room for some free drinks courtesy of K-Town. She was a little bitter with me, and wasn't able to hook me up with any drinks cause it was passed last call......which was totally gay!!!

We rolled out of Velvet after a bit of begging, but what was about to happen next none of us expected. Earlier in the day when I was napping I had a dream about two of the greatest foods ever, colliding to conform into one mega delight. I grabbed Sweezy and made my way to Mickey D's for a Big Mac stuffed with Chicken Nuggets!!! I visioned to combination in my dream, and I knew my night wouldn't be complete without it. Sweezy, Memory and myself all destroyed one of the greatest combinations I've ever thought of.....and walked out of Mickey D's with the biggest smiles on our faces. We got into Memory's car, and I thought we were going home but was I ever wrong! Two minutes later we roll up to M&G's which is one of the greatest chip wagon's in Ottawa! Some of the crew rolled over to the wagon for poutines and small fry's!!! Being the dirtball Sweezy is....he get's a pout....and being the dirtball I am....I stab it!!! However, Sweezy was dropping shit all over himself, but he didn't let one soldier go to waste!! That's when it hit me......he is one of a kind! Gravy was flying and people were laughing, but it was all good because we all made sure to have a clean pair of slacks on. So much to be said........

P.S. There's no job's out there unless you wanna work 40 hours a week!!

What More Can I Say....

So another night begins, and I really didn't expect half of what happened. Once again, I finished work and was planning to take it easy maybe hang out with my mom and pops, but what happens......LB hollers!! I almost forgot that it was Friday night, so once I was reminded I instantly picked up the pieces of what was left of my dignity from the night before, brushed my teeth and headed over to LB's crib. Don't get me wrong.....I'm still in last night's gear.....you love it!!!

We start off with a couple of beers, and some Newport Beach...my new addiction. If you don't know what Newport Beach is you honestly need to Google that shit and just indulge yourself with the greatest high school drama you've ever seen in your life. Drinks go down the gullet and more fam shows up .......Sweezy rolls through, then Memory and our new addition New Shit (NS)!! He's known as NS for a reason, cause he obviously rolls through with the newest music known to man, which is why we were all jamming to Kanye's new CD all night!! As I played Good Life on repeat for about 30 minutes.....the doctor shows up with Cult Jam, and then the drinking really threw down. Scratch tickets were being killed and Corona's were being jugged, and that's when I realized that I was completely destroyed!! GP was calling for a pick up so she could join in on the drink fest, so I instantly rolled out with Sweezy to grab my partner in crime!!

Reason number 1 why GP is tha shit, and you'll all begin to learn this, she rolls into the car with 2 Corona road rockets!!! You heard me.....

We all show up to the club rolling 10 deep, looking around like we run shit, and I ain't gonna lie cause we do!!! I'm at the Trump International ask about me.(Jay Z quote....you love it). We walk in and the club is pretty quite but that doesn't stop us from shutting the bar down by ordering a fluery of drinks.....doubles, triples and more shots than the eye can see. Let me remind you that Memory still can't drink from the wisdom teeth, but I look over and watch him guzzle down a hand full of Polar Bear shots all while holding two vodka 7's. God bless him. Next thing you know, the Doctor, Cult Jam, Capone, Sanchez, Coug and Barb roll through ready to shut shit down, and that's exactly what they did. I was feelin' the jamz so hard that I lost track of everything......you know what I'm sayin'.....when your so caught up in the moment of the music and environment that you don't realize that your grinding you best friends girl!!! Not that I was grinding my best friends girl, but I was feeling the DJ that hard!!! The music was unreal, and to be honest I was so lost in the moment with GP listening to the music I felt like I was in Mexico!!! To bad it was cold as fuck tonite!!

So the night started to come to an end when some juice monkey knocked over my Gin and 7, and replaced it with a Vodka 7......fuckin' fag!!! It still didn't stop me from killing it......but for some reason I couldn't find Doctor and LB. The drinking continued and the dancing didn't stop, until it hit me and I couldn't breath cause of the shitty air in that joint and the massive amount of Helicopter Dunking!!! I decided to leave everybody and get some fresh air, but didn't realize that I was completely fucked......so that's when I began to stumble and work my way to a quite corner. GP found my drunk ass, and like usual took care of my stupid ass!!! Why she's my friend, I don't know, but to be honest I thank god she is.

We eventually rolled out to NS's car, thinking that we were on our way home, but little did I know that I was on my way to one of the greatest treats Ottawa has to offer. I get out of the car, barely able to walk and stumble into a little place called Georgie's Pizza, where they offer a slice of pizza covered in gravy. Greatest shit ever!!!! GP's fam was there and they're gravy virgins, so the whole experience was unreal.

I'm gonna be dead straight right now, but I'm so fuckin' lost that my fingers hurt from typing so much so I'm gonna leave you all on a light note. This is only Friday of a really long weekend, so stay tuned for more stories and more introductions.......but make sure that you have a clean pair of slacks on cause we all know that there's alot to be said!!!

P.S. Two chicks are better than no chicks!