Merry Christmas....

I Had To Share this Video......

I like to read all the 'intelligent' posts people put on Facebook, and when I saw this video it all came back full circle. For some strange reason people seem to look at Facebook as some type of YukYuk's stage and their comment bar is the audience. In my opinion Facebook has turned into a bunch of comical twisted amateur proverbs that leave us no choice but to 'Like' and give the thumbs up. This video is indication that we should leave all jokes to the professionals!!!

It's About Time......

Download Chris Brown - Follow me like Twitter

Good Morning.....

This is why America is the fattest country in the world!! The only country where people go hunting on a full stomach. At least marketers are in touch with what the public wants with this ad.

Shabooters is ALIVE!!!

As you all know, we have lost one of our own soldiers....the one and only MANTI!! She has left us all for a better life overseas, or at least that's what she wants us to believe. I did a bit of research into the matter and Cleanslacks is proud to be the first to break the news of WHY she left. By judging from the picture you all might be thinking she left for Texas to live her life long dream of owning a cattle ranch...but that's not it! (That's what we thought too)

A few months ago Shabooters began to lay low on the social scene, and was very quiet when it came to her future plans. She would always stay in or go for 'DINNER' at very high priced steakhouses. This is what led us to believe she was heading to Texas, what with the high consumption of steak. However, it turns out that Manti was running a very high class coq ring in her backyard where many of Ottawa's elite would gather to bet on illegal coq fights. She had her nonna work security, which made it nearly impossible for anybody to get in and catch a glimpse of the action....but in the end Shabooters was raking in the dough!! I guess the heat got a little to close to home and she had to ditch Ottawa for safer grounds overseas.

We just made contact with her, and she's doing just fine. No trouble with the law overseas....yet, and still living off the fortunes she made with the illegal fights. She told us that she's keeping such a low profile, that instead of using some of her fortune to purchase a new Ferrari she's opted for a 10-speed bike....helping her fit in with the locals.

Kudos to you Shabooters for pulling off the unthinkable!! We send our love, but please make sure to keep the slacks clean cause cops can smell the ish a mile away. We would like to dedicate today's song to you and your worldwide pimpin'!! Cleanslack player top right -->

So This is What They Look Like....

I'm sure you all remember the classic video game "Space Invaders". It was one of the first Atari games that really caught on and generated a cult following with their classic 8-bit graphics. Ever wonder what those space ships would look like with today's graphic set?

Cookie Monster Always Knew Google Was His Friend.....

Today on Google's homepage, they are celebrating the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street by paying homage to the Cookie Monster. Yesterday they were giving respect to Big Bird by using his long legs as the letter 'L' in the Google logo.

This is actually quite ironic that the Cookie Monster is in the Google logo today, because I found a Sesame Street video that was made 27 years ago with Kermit and CM. It's crazy because this video was made 16 years before Google existed and technically the song is about Cookie Monsters googly eyes, but somehow it still sorta fits as a tribute to the search engine giant. Coincidence....I think not! The Cookie Monster knew all about Google and how this search engine startup would one day take over the world. Not only is he a visionary but he doesn't even wear cleanslacks.

Who Says We Don't Know How to Communicate?

There is alot of talk lately that the younger generation has lost all communication skills because of modern day technology. It seems that picking up the phone to talk just isn't the norm anymore, and SMS and EMAIL are the preferred modes of communication among today's youth. I used to agree with that statement until I discovered a little hidden gem of an app for the Apple iPhone!!

This app allows you to add little emoticons to your text based conversation, and if you think about it this is how our parents were taught to communicate when they were young!! You might not be following me on this one....but just hear me out.

Think back to kindergarden when you were just a little young'n try to get a prime spot in the sandbox, and your teachers would call you over for story time. I'm sure we all remember story time, but do you recall the books and how we were taught? The books were full of color and giant pictures with minimal verbage to describe what was going on....it was the pictures that did all the talking. So as you can see, this is how we were all taught....through pictures and little bits of text. So in my opinion I think that using emoticons within texting is just linking us back to how we were taught to communicate and understand one another.

Not sure if I have you sold or not, but the bottom line is that this new app is too addictive for me not to use and endorse daily!! Just look at how cool my text conversations are now.........

Baller iPhone Apps for October....

Last week Apple officially announced that they have reached 100,000 apps available in their app store. The app store has everything from really childish games to highly advanced CCTV feeds that you can view right on your iPhone. Ever since this whole app explosion, there are tons of new sites that have popped up outlining daily new apps and reviews.

Here are a few really good sites to check out:

1. App Safari
2. AppVee
3. MacWorld App Guide
4. App Finder

These sites are the best way to get the newest app's and check out videos on how they work. The newest app that is starting to blow up is called 'Layar' and was originally only supposed to be for the Google Android phone but it has quietly made it's way in the Apple app store. It's a free download, and is crazy! I've provided a link to their homepage that will give you a full explanation of how reality browsing works. GET IT!!!

Layar Website

New York New York....

Let's keep things going with the Jay Z theme. Here is his new video for "Empire State of Mind"

Jay Z Countdown #1.....

I appreciate all the love that the countdown has been getting this week. With that being said we are finally at #1 and I know that alot of people are wondering......what the hell is #1 going to be? To be honest, I can't answer that question.

In my opinion, and I think that most of you can agree with me here, is that there isn't just A number one song. I have about 20 songs that I would rank as #1, so it was pretty much impossible for me to just pick one. Soooooo, instead what I did was consulted with my associates and hardcore Jigga heads to get their perspective on what #1 should be.

Tarry came through with a solid ol' skool pick: Jay Z - Money, Cash, Hoes


Lisa went back to the Hull days with: Jay Z - Can I Get A.....


Shabooters picked this hidden gem for nostalgic reasons: Jay Z - I Just Wanna Luv Ya


Danika had a few to pick from but ultimately chose: Jay Z - Best of Me (remix)


Mona isn't known for quality picks, but she did alright: Jay Z - Show Me What You Got


Dream's true colors came through with this SOLID pick: Jay Z - December 4th


Sklenny was asked the same question as everyone else, but I think he was sitting in first class at the time:
Birdman - Always Strapped


That wraps it up! Some might be asking where the Woodsky's pick was, and it actually came in at #2 on the countdown so he's covered. Make sure to have your slacks super clean and startched up for Jigga this Sunday.....see you snitches l8ter!!

Oh yeah...I have an honorable mention track as my pick for today at the bottom! Dame Dash doin' the bottle pop dance is serious, and be sure to check out the CleanSlacks music player on the top right for a pretty solid remix.

Jay Z Countdown #2....

This was supposed to be his last album, and many claim the Black Album to be his best album to date. It was a pretty crazy track listing considering how many songs from this album blew up. Number 2's track was a little hidden gem on this album and is only for the die hards.....and/or Woodsky!

Jay Z - Lucifer comes in at #2
How many rappers have stolen this line???

"I'm from the murder capital, where we murder for capital"

Listen to it on the top left CleanSlacks music player-->

Jay Z Countdown #3.....

With some much drama in the LBC, it's kinda hard only pickin' five songs from the homey Jay Z!! I had to go back to the Blueprint 1 once again for a track that always blows the clubs up. I've heard this in NYC, Vegas, Miami and Acapulco and each time it's played the club goes HAM (that's a new slang term for hype www.urbandictionary.com). This song is also an ongoing tradition with our boy AK Moloo who tears it up on a daily basis!

Jay Z - U Don't Know comes in at #3
We've all recited this one!!
"One million, two million, three million, four
In eighteen months, eighty million more
Now add that number up with the one I said before
You are now lookin at one smart black boy
Momma ain't raised no fool
Put me anywhere on God's green earth, I'll triple my worth
Motherfucker - I, will, not, lose"

Jay Z Countdown #4.....

I had a hard time not ranking this one in the top 3, but this jam brings me way back. This Blueprint album was released on September 11th, 2001 so obviously it's one day that I won't soon forget, but every song on this album was legendary. Only 1 appearance on the whole album from Eminem, and 2 ghost tracks that only the hardcores knew about.

Jay Z - Song Cry comes in at #4.
Hip Hop Line of the Century
"They say you can't turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever..
I'll mourn forever
Shit I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever"


Jay-Z - Song Cry - The most amazing home videos are here

Jay Z Countdown #5.....

We're steadily approaching the Jay Z concert, which is this coming Sunday for all of those who DON'T know. We have decided to count down his top 5 jamz from all 11 albums, and of course your comments and suggestions are always welcome.

At #5 we have Jay Z - In My Lifetime, simply because the track is legendary and represents his first chart single from his first album (Reasonable Doubt). 'In My Lifetime' and 'Feelin' It' both helped launch the Jigga man!!

You Thought I Was Joking........

I got a few email's from people asking if that Windows 7 hamburger at Burger King was a joke! When I first saw the flyer, I thought it was a photoshopped joke but this morning my boy at CheapAssGamer put up a video on his blog outlining the destruction of the Windows 7 burger in Japan. Once again, it leads me to ask myself....WHAT THE HELL WAS MICROSOFT THINKING?!?!?!

Windows 0 Apple 1......

With Microsoft Vista destroying millions of lives worldwide, MS has decided to save some face and quickly release the new Windows 7. Since we have a Microsoft beta tester here at work, I've had the opportunity to check out the new 7 a few weeks ago and it's pretty slick. Not slicker than Snow Leopard, but for Microsoft it's definitely a step in the right direction.

However, I think their might be some disconnect between the R&D team and the marketing team for Microsoft out in Asia. I came accross this poster that is being used as a cross promotion between our good friends at Burger King and Microsoft!! I know one person who has clean slacks (sometimes) and would be able to tackle this behemoth......JUMANJ!!!

Anybody Can Do It, Not Just T-Pain

As we all know, T-Pain is the king of that damn auto-tune crap and in my opinion took the crown from Teddy Riley. That's neither here nor there, cause ultimately it all comes down to what the greatest rapper of all time says; 'D.O.A (Death Of Auto-Tune) - Jay Z.

I'm not jumping on any bandwagons, as much as I agree with Jay Z, I actually like the auto-tune sound. I know that it doesn't require much talent other than knowing how to operate a computer and the auto-tune device, and if a high school drop out such as T-Pain can do it than I gotta be shoe in! But seriously, I hear this electronic voice on every other song that's played on the radio and it's only a matter of time before Nickleback starts rockin' the auto-tune. I was reading my Gizmodo blog today, and a young scholar in university put together a pretty cool auto-tune inspired medley from a bunch of boring scientist speeches.

Enjoy!

On Our Way....

So this is where the journey begins......on our way to Taipei for a week of relaxation and partying. We just wanted to keep you posted and let you know that the business lounge in Chi-Town is off the hizzle. However, we both forgot that we had access to this lounge which is why we already ate McDonald's breakfast before coming here......smarter!!

Nonetheless, we are taking full advantage of the free WiFi!!!

First YouTube video is uploded!! CLICK HERE.

R.I.P. DJ AM.......

I can't believe that DJ AM has passed away. I've been a huge fan of his, and he was the reason I started DJ'ing. Watching his videos back in the day was my inspiration to getting behing the turntables.

I have been following DJ AM on Twitter since the first day I joined, and it seemed that he was doing alright from his tweets.....but I guess you just never know. The picture that you see was taken August 23rd, 2009 from his cell phone just as he was about the throw the first pitch at the NY Mets game. This is what he wrote in his Twitter just before taking the field:

Off to Citi Stadium to throw out the 1st pitch at the Mets game! Ho-lee shiz I'm nervous. How the F does a DJ get this honor? Thank you G0D!

Sad.

He also shared private mixes that he made in his home with his Twitter followers, and they were ill!! There are a total of 4 mixes and each one is about an hour and a bit. I've attched two of them below.....enjoy!

Download First Mix

Download Second Mix

DJ AM had clean slacks for all!

Picking Up WiFi is Like Picking Up A Prostitute.....

I thought I would try something different, so I decided to surf the net for a bit today. I've been a pretty big fan of all the College Humor videos for awhile, but they haven't put anything too eye catching out lately. I have been following their 'Jake and Amir' series, but Amir is just getting to be plain old annoying.

As I was surfing I came across a great article called 'Picking up Wifi is like picking up a prostitute', and it made perfect sense to me. Whenever your roaming around town in your car, your iPhone always feels the need to update you and let you know whenever there are any connections/prostitutes around. Some are free, and those are the one's that most people go for.....but then you have the ones that require a password (the not so popular ones).

The iPhone almost acts as a pimp for these connections/prostitutes, and whenever you scroll the list of possible free connections it always seems to evoke a bit of excitement? Am I wrong? When I'm around my friends and they connect their phone to a free connection, the excitement in there voice is similar to a young boy entering a strip club for the first time! "Oh my god, this is awesome..!!".

College Humor comes through with a solid video depicting the whole theory. Enjoy.

This Is Getting Out of Hand.....

After reading a few articles and laughing non-stop at all the douchness in my city, I have official come to the conclusion that Ed Hardy is by far the most ridiculous apparel I have ever seen. It seems that the clothing brand just transcends to complete try hard's and douche members alike.

Do guys actually look in the mirror and say; 'Wow that's a really nice bedazzled t-shirt I have on, and the heart with that skull coming through is so Axle Rose!!'. I would like to say, no guys don't say that.....but who are we kidding. Just look at 'figure A' below.

Figure A


I can ask people if they think that picture is photoshoped or made up, but we all know that it's the absolute truth. I think I see those four guys at every damn club I go to now! I'm not joking either, those exact guys, and to be real with you I think the guy on the right spilt my drink last week. I was going to say something but his Ed Hardy Trucker Hat was too low and I just couldn't seem to make eye contact....that and his spray on tan was shining a little much and blinded me.

The reason for this rant, is because I was reading my daily RSS feed's and came across this news article from the good writers over at www.crunchgear.com. After reading the article, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks these shirts are incredibly embarrasing. I've attached the link below.....it's a short article but is a funny read.

Crunch Gear Article!!!

Fed Bardy is lame....not because his clothing is embarrasing, not because he's a 90 year old man telling today's youth what's cool, not because he hangs out with JC Chavez, but simply because he doesn't sport a clean pair of slacks! Feels great to be back:)

This Video Describes the Whole Experience.....

Last month I wrote a blog post about bringing my girlfriend to a hidden gem restaurant in Ottawa called Navarra. Well I had the opportunity to take part in filming a chef battle last weekend, that included Senor Rene Rodriguez who is the owner and head chef of Navarra. We had a little chat about viral ads, and he directed me to a video that he had someone put together for his restaurant. I took one look and was blown away.......and I had no choice but to share it with all of you.

Check it out!!!
Navarra Restaurant
93 Murray St.
Ottawa, ON
www.navarrarestaurant.com

Round #2 For the V-Log.....

I told you before that we're coming hard this summer with the video blogs. If you see me out an about don't be surprised if I get you on camera and up on the blog!!!
Don't forget to visit the YouTube channel ---> Springheat28.

We're Back.....

We've been gone for awhile, but been busy setting up the summer video blog. Make sure to visit the YouTube channel...just click here ---> Springheat28. Here is the first summer jam!!!

This Is Beyond Dinner.....

So last night I thought it would be nice to surprise my girlfriend with a nice romantic dinner at this little hidden gem called Navarra. I've read the articles, visited the website and even heard the stories of how good the food was but in no way was I prepared for what was in store last night. Restaurants could learn a thing or two or three or four from the atmosphere, service and more importantly food that Navarra has to offer.

I've read stories about the owner and head chef, Senor Rene Rodriguez, but watching him in his element is a whole other experience. You may recall Rene from the 'Iron Turkey' battle of 2008.

Rene "The Bull' Rodriguez:

Hailing from the wild and dangerous streets of Mexico, Rene was raised by matador's on a small farm. He then became a ring promoter for underground coq fights at the tender age of 12, but after Mexican officials cracked down on illegal coq fight's he fled to Canada. The rest is culinary history.

Let's just say he's come a very long way, and from the looks of the restaurant last night I have a feeling that his illegal coq fights were quite lucrative!!

Two nicely chilled glasses of champagne were waiting for us upon our arrival, and our table was decorated with a hand carved bull statue that was garnished with my name.....as you can see below.


The dishes were pieces of art and tasted like nothing I've ever had before. I can't wait to go back.

Wild Pacific Halibut Filet: coriander fried organic mushrooms, spinach, butternut, crustacean emulsion, piquillo confit, seared garlic prawn (see below)


Roasted Lamb Rack: Nicoise potato pave, early spring vegetables, serrano jus, caramelized radishes, soft goat cheese, pickled ramps


I usually don't like to listen to the critics, but instead I like to be my own judge and last night's dinner get's a definite 5-Star Big Mac rating from me. Cleanslacks all the way to Navarra is the way I'm gonna roll!!

Thank you for an amazing dinner Rene.

Coolest Commercial Ever.....

I was totally blown away by this commercial, please watch the whole thing.

Say Goodbye And Don't Come Back Wearing The 4-5......

This week has gone by pretty quick, but we're back to another Friday at the office with not much going down. I can always bank on some good witty banter on Friday's with Hollywood, but today's email string was particularily special. It had me tearing up with laughter at my freakin' desk and had colleagues asking me what was wrong!!!

So, typical Friday I like to send the Wood an email and find out what his plans are for the night and the weekend. Turned out that not much has changed from last week or the week before for that matter, but just after I told him that I was out for the night and he could clip me off the conversation he threw in this line; "You need to be IN first to be out and you haven't been IN for awhile now".

DING DING......ROUND 1!!!!

The gloves instantly came of and next thing we know, we're center ice and the fans are literally going crazy. I countered him with this response:"I brought you IN!!! I think you're forgetting that I AM THE CLUB and always will be. I can take a 2 year hiatus and still roll in to VIP and free drinks. You haven't seen me because I've been international lately from Whorlando, Vegas, T-Dot and MTL."

Hollywood came back with a strong left: "Most of that is all true except one key thing and never forget it again! I BROUGHT YOU IN/WE CAME IN TOGETHER.... La Boom, I was on that Patio at 16 right beside you and O-ZOne with Scotters and Z we were grindin with Donks to Hoy Sexy Punkie and well Domer days, I ran the show, period. lol"

After that comment, I took a step back just to get a good look at his swagger and then realized he had none which is why I gave him a sweet uppercut with this: "You're reign came to an end after Domer. I'll give you that much. Yes we did come into the game together but so did Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan and we both know how that ended up! Similar to Jordan, my club status still remains supreme. HAHAHA!!!"

I guess he took a step back too, and similar to Bald Bull he came strong: "lol ok Jordan....never forget that Jordan tried to make it in "Single A" baseball were I could have made it if I played ball for another 2 years and he bombed and then back to the NBA with The Wizards of Washington were there best player was a fat kid named Brendan Haywood and still couldn't get minutes on that team and then his wife took him for half of his fortune and was seen crying at a high school basketball game just last week, come on dude get it together!!.....now on the other hand Scottie P does NOT have a pot to piss in, as he has blown (pun intended!) all his money away on strippers, booze, drugs and horrible investments....let me think about this one, whom would I rather be?...100% without a doubt Scottie P is my Hero!!!

P.S. We all know that the true play maker/defender/shot maker/under pressure player on all those Championship teams was none other than............ Bill Wennington!!!!"


I'm not gonna lie...I was at a loss for words, but I gathered up strength to conform myself like a young Ryu looking to defeat E.Honda and HYOOOUKEN him: "Okay....I'll give you Bill Wennington in a heart beat. But can we talk about who has the most successful shoe brand in the world, not to mention the largest and most profitable athletic endorser in the history or sports? When Nelly, JD and Ciara all get on a track to ask 'Who stepped on my J's', I think that's a pretty clear indication on who's runnin' it around here. If I saw Hank shoot the game winning shot in his basketball championship game I'd probably shed a tear too.....hater!!! Kids all around the world (including Sklenny) save their penny's just so they can rock a pair of J's, cause at the end of the day they all 'Wanna be like Mike'!!

If Pippen could stop looking up to Rodman as a roll model he might get somewhere, unless that brief description you provided of his life is where he was looking to go. Then I must say....job well done Pippen."

The best part of this Friday email string, is that we're both going to be right next to one another tonight at the club popping bottles!! I might have the 45 on, but you can always bank on the Wood to have a clean pair of slacks and a clean 33 on!

Emoticon Revisited....

Just a few months ago, I posted a blog entry that related to emoticon's. Emoticon's are the little happy faces and sad faces people add to the end of their sentences with colon's and brackets. :) :(

You can read the blog entry here:
Emoticon Blog Link

Well as the months have gone by, it seems that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Classic and hilarious video that you must watch.

A Gift From God.....

Whenever you think of the word 'deli' and 'Montreal'....well there should only be one reaction and that's Schwartz!! Evertime I head to Montreal I try to make a conscious effort to swing by Schwartz for a classic medium smoked meat sandy and a plate of fries. I think many of you can relate to how satisfying one of those sandy's are.

I was in MTL last weekend with someone who had never heard of or been to Shwartz, so instead of loosing my cool and going all Chris Brown on them......I kept my composure and thought that it was probably a good idea for the both of us to go straight to Schwartz once we got there. I tried to explain how good the sandwich was and that there's usually a line up out the door. Without fail, we were welcomed to Shwartz with a giant lineup and a bunch of hungry locals looking for their smoke meat fix.

My guest didn't quite understand why there was a lineup for a simple sandwich, but after they got a wiff of the meat it all started to make sense. Needless to say, we polished off 2 sandy's, fries, pickles and the all mighty important black cherry cola. It was a complete success, and to be honest it felt good to take my guests Shwartz virginity.

I get back home and a couple days go by when my Shwartz guest sends me this:

(exact e-mail)
ya! omg you dont understand how badly I want one of those sandwiches right now! All day I have been thinking about them! With the fries and pickle... omg thank you so much for bringing me............ you have changed my life lol

I would like to welcome the newest Shwartz junkie, and am proud to have built this one on my own....cleanslacks and all!!

So You're Not Friends Then.....

Another day in the office, I thought the best way to get this Friday started was to fire out an email to the boys and see what's on tap for the weekend. As I began to make my rounds I realized that I was just going to take it easy this weekend, but when one of the G-Unit members told me his plans I began wondering who he was going to be hanging out with.

So I asked the simple question, and got a pretty weird response since the person he mentioned was an enemy of his just last week!! I then proceeded to ask him if he was serious, and this is what his response was...via email:

LOL no I hate him and if I saw him on the side of the road, with a stalled car and four flat tires, with no cell phone, in shorts and a t-shirt, with no boots on and he had locked himself out of the car in minus 25 degree weather and a full blizzard with chinook winds, and there was a family of bears that haven't eaten in 6 months and were about to hunt him down and eat him if I didn't pick Hero up, I'm pretty sure I would put my window down and blast Mariah Carey's "And when a Hero comes along, with the strength to carry on...."

and keep driving and not look back!

Realllll friendly around here. I guess their BFF's, but it still has me wondering....who wears the cleanslacks in that friendship?

Juicy Sandwich Porn.....

So I'm assuming that you've read the title and have obviously prepared yourself for the worst, but I can promise you that what I'm about to get into is the complete opposite of what you may be thinking. To me 'Sandwich Porn' is just a beautifully crafted sandwich with all the fixin's on a fresh piece of dough. Turns out that I'm not the only freak with respects to a beautiful sandwich....

My love for sandwiches started back in the days of Heathcliff Huxtable and Theo Huxtable, two of my favourite Cosby Show characters. I know that Bill Cosby was noted for his great leadership in parenting through his sitcom and nationwide award winning book 'Fatherhood', but for me he always had a unique way of handling his 'sitcom son' Theo Huxtable.

Whenever Theo would get into trouble or come to his father, Heathcliff, for help he would sit his son down and give him some guidance and support....but it was the actions after the father speech that I was always intrested in!! After every father-son talk it was tradition for the two of them to head to the kitchen and make the all famous Heathcliff Huxtable Hoagie!!

I'll be dead honest, but when I was younger watching the show I had no clue what a hoagie was until I asked my brother. That's when my love for a well tailored sub/sandwich came alive!! I'm sure by this point you've all made your own personal critics on my love for sandwiches, but I would like to introduce you to someone who feels the same way I do.

A colleague of mine introduced me to a Mr. John Chonko, who believe it or not also shares the same infactuation of sandwiches as I do.....maybe a bit more. John is so in love with sandwiches that he decided to take it to the next level and start a website called Scanwiches.com. 'Scanwiches' you ask? He purchases custom sandwiches within the greater New York area and with his girlfriends old HP scanner, he scans a new sandwich daily to share the feeling of what it's like to bite into a perfectly built hoagie!! He's got a new cult following of sandwich whores, and I'm definitely on board. He might have a hard time trying to keep the scanner screen clean, but his slacks don't share that problem.....clean as can be!! www.Scanwiches.com

Back In The Day.....

I'm sure everybody remembers their high school graduation......good memories for some, funny for others and even sad for a few. Regardless, we all remember the afterparty and all the high school drama that went down that night. It's funny to think about how big of a deal it was to us, at the time, and when we look back it was just a giant mess of a night. When I say 'mess' what I'm referring to is the amount of booze that was being consumed and how cool we all thought we were.

Some of us still feel the need to re-create that night on a weekly basis (Bottlesaurus Rex), but for the rest of us it's just fun to look back and have a good laugh. We've all grown up since that day, mentally and physically.....except for one special beauty. Not only has it been 20 years and the original prom outfit still fits, but she's rockin' a clean pair of slacks under the whole ensemble.....and yes that is my older, more responsible, smart, beautiful math wiz sister!!!

Le Green Light.....

I was just kickin' last night and hanging out with Swagger and Dreamtown, when we began freestyling John Legend's Green Light in french. It was in my head all night, that I had no choice but to hookup the first verse in french for all to enjoy!!

Donnez-moi le Greenlight
Donnez-moi juste une nuit
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment

Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment

Je vous vois se déplacer, je vérifie votre sourire
Le travail de votre dos comme lui est extinction du modèle
Secousse juste un peu plus rapidement
Secousse juste peu maintenant une fille
La mort pour vous rencontrer, ainsi nous a laissés déranger
J'ai une hantise de nous descendant
Venez juste un peu plus étroitement
J'ai besoin juste de permission tellement juste…

Donnez-moi le greenlight
Donnez-moi juste une nuit
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Nous pouvons aller toute la nuit
Donnez-moi le greenlight
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment

Je veux votre greenlight vert
Mais si est il comme ce qu'il semble
Alors nous pouvons lui obtenir le bébé mobile
Cause que nous savons que ce va être exact

Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment
Je suis prêt à aller en ce moment

The good thing about John Legend is that even without a big Hollywood stylist, he always rocks a clean pair of slack.

And The Winner Is......

CleanSlacks is proud to present ‘Single in your mouth 09’ edition’



Overview

The researchers at CleanSlacks headquarters have decided to conduct a study based on dating and likeability. 5 test subjects will be used for the duration of this study and subjected to a personal profile on www.plentyoffish.com. Once these profiles are built, each test dummy will be subjected to a live account for 2 weeks. The object of this study is to see who can pick up the most people and receive the most personal messages. Each dummy will NOT be notified of this profile, but will be allowed to contact anybody that was interested in them after the study is complete.

Goal

The objective of this study is to introduce and expose our test dummy’s to the wonderful world of dating, but more importantly provide them with bragging rights on who’s the biggest boss thus far. The winner will be presented with a small award that will consist of a bouteille d’alcool.

Specifications

This study will begin on February 10, 2009 and will run until February 24, 2009. Once these profiles go live they will not allowed to be touched or altered in any way. The operators of these accounts will be Alok Ahuja and Rahim Moloo, and cannot be accessed by anyone else. If for some instance any emergency change needs to be made after live deployment, then Alok and Rahim must both be present for the change. No real names will be used for the purpose of this test.

Legal Notice

Alok Ahuja and Rahim Moloo are not liable for any broken hearts of loss of self esteem. You are all legally bound to this test and contract through association to Alok Ahuja and Rahim Moloo. The test subjects are not allowed to be informed of this test until the profiles have been created on www.plentyoffish.com. Best of Luck!!!

Test Subjects

1. Jeff ‘LarryLago’
2. Jonathan ‘Sklenny’
3. Julian ‘Juelz Dip’

Too Busy For LIfe....

After Mr. Hollywood's contribution to last week's blog, the feedback was quite unanimous for another blog post. Due to all the requests, I give you another CleanSlacks blog post from Mr. Hollywood. Enjoy!

Why do we squeeze so many events (birthdays, weddings and/or bachelor/bachlorette parties), recreational activities (hitting the gym or the clubs) and so much actual work in such a small amount of time? Because we HAVE to? As my father always tells me, you don't HAVE to do anything if your life you don't WANT to do!

Ya sure, it would be nice to go to Jessica's birthday party, but you know what, you don't HAVE too. Unless Jessica is one of your "BFF's" she is not going to remember the next morning, after puking her brains out all night. Sure, if it's family or your best friends birthday you should be there, but stop running around town or the country trying to make everyone's birthday parties. A call will suffice 90% of the time, because most of your "friends" know how busy you truly are.

Going to the gym has become like a second job to some people, "I really don't want to go to the gym, but I HAVE too!". I think I have heard that said to me at least 30 times already last week at work alone. Sure exercise is a good way for some people to let some built up energy out and keep in shape at the same time. Why not try a nice walk or jog for an hour every second day with a friend or a family member? You get the exercise and fresh air at the same time and are not rushing around town, like a desperate guy running around the bar at 2:30 am looking for the drunkest girl to take home. There's no need to squeeze a 2 hour workout into 30 mins!

Now work is a tricky one, but still manageable. Now this is the only "HAVE" you need to do. You HAVE to leave work at work, if you are taking it home with you either physically or mentally it is going to take over your entire life. Sure you may need to stay that extra hour once or twice a week at work to finish up a major project for the boss, but don't make it a habit! Because it will only become something that you will get taken advantage of for doing. If you leave the work were it is suppose to be, your life can only be better for it! And if all that fails, just get a Government job!

You have to weed out the important things to YOU in your life and ditch the deadweight (cause it will only sink you in the end, once and for all!). Rest and relaxation is extremely important in your daily life, if you take on too much you will find yourself either failing or falling into the same routine every single day for the rest of your life. Take life one day at a time and try not to please the world, because you will fall straight on your ass, as you guessed, with absolutely no class.

-Hollywood

All Class All The Time.

Emoticon Happy.......

It seems that in today's wireless tech savvy world, it's all about being quick and abbreviated! When text messages took over the old days of 2001 where people would actually conversate on the phone, I was surprised that people were okay by not talking on the phone anymore. With the worldwide acceptance and success of text messaging it was just a matter of time before that became streamlined into something even quicker and nerdier!

Back in the day, and when I say this I'm talking about 2001-2004, when texting was the new craze I would receive messages similar to these;

Alok 2002 "How you feeling today?"
Turd 2002 "I feel so sick today"

Alok 2009 "How you feeling today?"
Turd 2009 ":-("

Alok 2002 "How did your date go last night?"
Turd 2002 "It was great, she's really cool"

Alok 2009 "How did your date go last night?"
Turd 2009 ":-)"

Can someone please tell what the hell happened to society and how we've chosen to communicate amongst one another?? It was bad enough that I couldn't hear my friends voices, but now I can't even get a straight answer out of them. We've resorted to having to speak in symbols similar to how the cavemen did back in B.C. I know that in the fashion world it's a known cycle that the old always comes back in style, but c'mon now!! I have to communicate with my friends through an assortment of face gestures??

Emoticons actually came to life back in 1982, but became popular because they were used by writers to add emotional overtones to their text. They claim that it adds a humanizing influence, and by injecting one of the gay smiley's into your writing you can dramatically alter the readers's perceptions. When you think about it this makes perfect sense, but then you hand it to generation X and the whole concept gets destroyed.

Guys already have a tough enough time trying to understand girls, but now you throw these random smiley faces into the mix and you might as well just rip our heads off. I'm just saying!!! I read this online....true story;

Boy "Hey hun, how are you doing?"
Girl "Not bad:) LOL"
Boy "Is something funny?"
Girl "I'm pregnant babe ;-)"

I'll let you figure that one out!

I was on the phone with my good partner in crime, Mr. Hollywood, and was sharing my ideals concerning emoticon's. He instantly wanted to share his thoughts with the rest of you today as well. Read below;

Is it not a sad, sad world we live in? What ever happened to the laugh out loud, not the lol but the actual big chuckle that you would give when one of your friends got hit in the balls with a basketball? What ever happened to the smile that you would give to the cute chick first thing in the morning at work? What ever happened to you calling your friend to send them your condolences when they lost a pet? What ever happened to the birthday phone call from your aunt? I will tell you what happened to all of those things and alot of other things in your day to day life.....they have been replaced by Emoticon!

It's very sad that we do not know how to express our feelings and emotions on a daily basis anymore. We as a society have put them in emails and facebook messages as icons instead of picking up the phone, or going for a drink with a friend when we want to share something funny or sad with them. We write them an email "sorry to hear about fluffy, always loved that cat of yours :( take care". Pick up the damn phone and call the person or take them out for coffee.

We live in a society that does not have time for that anymore, or maybe just maybe we have become to lazy and have found a way to sneak by not showing our actual feelings. You actually never laugh out loud anymore at work when you get that funny email, you just send an email back to that person saying "good one, LOL". Come on, the person is not going to have a horrible day if you did not actually laugh at their silly email joke of which you've already seen ten times this week! Or that smile that you would have given that co worker first thing in the morning is now an IM later that morning, "Morning Mel :)", dude you just walked by her like 10 minutes ago! That birthday phone call has now turned into the birthday facebook message, "Happy Birthday Frank! :) Another year older :p ". Sad sad sad stuff.

Bet you can't go a day without writing hahaha, when that text was not funny at all or going a day without writing LOL in an email or a text, when you never actually laughed out loud. Come on now people, get some class back in your lives and TALK to each other instead of emailing, IM, texting or Facebooking your emotions to one another!

- Hollywood

All Class All The Time!

Do We Have Any Takers.....

We're starting a fresh year with two thousand niiooonnnneeeee, and I thought it would only be fitting to ring in the new year with a good laugh. I've made it a New Years resolution to be more helpful to my friends, hence this post. The boys and I are heading to Tremblent for the weekend, but instead of just rolling with the G-Unit we actually have dates that we're bringing up....except for one lone member.

He actually wrote the following ad below with the hopes of finding someone before this weekend to bring down to Tremblent. If you are interested in accompanying WoodPig be sure to leave a comment below.

"Single, tall, dark and handsome (well in my mom's eyes, at least) man/boy. I am currently employed and enjoy popping copious amounts of bottles on the weekend. I am willing to blow all the cash I have on you, on stupid unless items and dinners, that you will probably just throw up anyways. Looking for a single white female 5'8, 115 to 120 pounds, blonde or brunette, blue or green eyes and MBH (Motherly Birthing Hips). To take to Tremblant this weekend to do nasty, weird and raunchy things to that you would never tell your mother, let alone your best friend about. Must wear high heels to bed and have long nails to scratch the crap out of me with. Must be willing to clean up my puke on Saturday and Sunday morning from beside my bed, as well as, feeding me chicken poutines from St. Hubert in the morning, to cure the hang-over. No OUTDOOR physical activity required and MUST, now this is a MUST, thoroughly enjoy napping. If you are interested please contact my agent Falok Januan at (613) 966-3744 or by email at woodspigs@eharmony.com"

ps. the phone number spells.....WoodPig

All Class All The Time!!