I'm sure everybody is fully aware of the new Apple iPad tablet computer that was released yesterday, and if you don't then you really need to get out from under that rock. Ever since the release yesterday punch lines about female hygiene products have been filling the blogsphere.
Yes, the iPad is small, lightweight and slim. But can you swim with it??
Did Apple do any research on this name, or do they even have female representation on their marketing team?? I found this video skit that was done by MadTV back in November 2007, so it seems that it was only a matter of time before jokes turned into reality!!
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Next Level Isshhh.....
Cleanslacks has been around for 4 years, and throughout that time we've been able to gather quite a few followers from all over the world. This is why we've decided to build a new gallery blog called Camera Phone Porn!! Before you get all bent out of shape thinking that this is some XXX rated blog site, just take a deep breath and listen to the concept.
This new site is rated E for EVERYONE, and has been put together so that we can all contribute some of the hilarity that our camera phones seem to capture when we're out and about. The pictures can be anything, but they must be taken with your camera phone only!!(no perv shots either please) Sooooo the instructions are below and it's super simple to do. I'm sure you've all heard of the term "Eye Candy".....well Cleanslacks is flipping it for 2010 and it's all about Camera Phone Porn!!
You can click on the banner to the right to check it out----->
This new site is rated E for EVERYONE, and has been put together so that we can all contribute some of the hilarity that our camera phones seem to capture when we're out and about. The pictures can be anything, but they must be taken with your camera phone only!!(no perv shots either please) Sooooo the instructions are below and it's super simple to do. I'm sure you've all heard of the term "Eye Candy".....well Cleanslacks is flipping it for 2010 and it's all about Camera Phone Porn!!
You can click on the banner to the right to check it out----->
All Seems Fine To Me....
What do well educated top ranking politicians and top paid star athletes have in common......they both don't give a rat's ass about their wives and choose to run around wilder than the bulls in Spain!! Surprisingly, athletes seem to be some of the worst offenders and maybe it’s all the testosterone or their obsession with scoring? Either way, all this Tiger Woods baby's mama drama has reminded us that athletes are notorious for running around and then clearing their history. However, I don't want us to forget that Tiger is in very good company when it comes to being a dawg.....anyone remember Alex Rodriguez and Kobe Bryant??
I'm only using these three athletes here to prove a point, because they represent the wide spectrum of cheating and how it has been accepted or at least tolerated within society.
Kobe was accused of raping a 19-year-old in 2003 in a hotel room in Colorado, all while being married at the time. My man Kobe claimed the sex was consensual but later there was a bunch of confusion about whether the girl was after his money or if she had, in fact, been raped. Some said she bragged about the encounter while others said she was traumatized. This sounds like a certified trick in my opinion and someone who's out to ruin Kobe's career. Some may argue the fact that it was Kobe's fault blah blah blah..... Eventually, after over a year, the case was dropped and once again the law prevailed and set things right. I can hear everyone sighing right now, but take this food for thought....did Kobe's wife take him back? Did he become America's favorite athlete after winning an NBA championship last year? Does Nike still give him trillions of dollars?
A-Rod is another class act who cheated on his long time wife Cynthia with Madonna, and who has also been accused of taking steriods on multiple occasions. However, I think I can get past these, err, transgressions because if you’re going to cheat, might as well be with someone legendary, like the Material Girl. Plus, you seem to have settled down and are officially with Kate Hudson now...I think? You see the facts and the history....still loved, still paid and career is soaring like it's nobody's business.
On to my last case of my new favorite dude Mr. Woods. (When your this big they call you mister). Mr. Woods cheated on his model wife, Elin Nordegren, with socialite Rachel Uchitel, club promoter Kalika Moquin, cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs and who knows how many others while allegedly paying his baby mama Elin to stay with him. There is a very easy explanation for all this nonesense, and I'm gonna set it straight once and for all. Tiger was thrown into the sport of golf at a very young age by his father, and spent his adolescent years on the golf course. Sounds like a Joe Jackson/ MJ case to me!! Tiger never had the opportunity to be a wild teenager and live the bachelor life, and he is now going back to the days he missed to re-live the unexperienced good times. He was obviously quite sloppy with his planning, and therefore got pinched.However, if you look at past cases of cheating athletes or even politicians (Bill Clinton or Eliott Spitzer), it all seems to work out in their favour. I know that sounds kinda harsh to some of you, but it all seems fine to me! Kobe messed up, A-Rod messed up, R. Kelly messed up and now Mr. Woods.....but he is now going to be the next member of the 'Super Successful Cheaters Club'. The ones who got pinched and came back 10x stronger in the end with more money/endorsments/mistresses then when they started. If only we could all be this fortunate..(insert comments here!!).
I Now Accept Credit Cards....
It's always been a little difficult collecting money from friends or colleagues at work cause no one seems to carry cash anymore. If you lose a bet or borrowed money from me, have no fear cause I can just swipe your C-Card and be done with you!! This is the coolest app I have seen so far, and will revolutionize all small businesses and new start ups. Everyone can be there own business with this.
Calling All Improv Teams......
First off I would like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year......I look forward to posting some quality blogs for 2010!!
There's nothing better than starting off the New Year by taking a vacation, or at least that's what the more fortunate people do. When I say 'starting off' I mean catching a flight to Mexico 4 hours after the ball drops for 2010!! That's what the Gapetto crew did, and they didn't do it like they're doin' it for TV....it's just what they do.
I'm sure most of you have been to Mexico, and despite having the best weather and most incredible beaches the resorts still lack one thing.....quality food. I can remember have the best time partying there, but all of my good Mexican food memories are from eating at Domino's Pizza or McDonald's. So you can imagine what the Gapetto crew is going through with the lack of quality food and wine. Mind you, they did bring their own wine and 3 packs of vaccum packed proscuitto (this isn't a lie, I watched them pack it with my own eyes).
The crew is used to eating fresh food from the restaurant, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that but just imagine the difference in quality from VT's to the Mexican resort. I mean.....when I'm getting a picture of Matt eating burgers there is a serious problem (...and the burger isn't a kobe patty on an artisan bun with $40 dijon mustard!!). It's straight horse meat on a week old bun and catsup.
Nonetheless, you can always leave it up to Sanchez to dig himself out of a bad situation by improvising and building his own menu at the buffet. At the restaurant he has an amazing Caprese Salad on the menu (as seen below), which is composed salad of vine ripened tomato, baby arugula and bocconcini cheese drizzled with rosemary oil and aged balsamic vinegar.
Then you take Sanchez and put him in Mexico with limited resources and this is what he does; He takes a tomato from the buffet and slices it to resemble a Caprese salad and stuff's it with sliced cheese and guacamole!! (actual pic from Sanchez below)
We will be starting a petition on the blog to have this item on the menu at VT's or Navarra or Restaurant 18 for at least a special!! With everyones help and cleanslacks I think we can make it happen.
There's nothing better than starting off the New Year by taking a vacation, or at least that's what the more fortunate people do. When I say 'starting off' I mean catching a flight to Mexico 4 hours after the ball drops for 2010!! That's what the Gapetto crew did, and they didn't do it like they're doin' it for TV....it's just what they do.
I'm sure most of you have been to Mexico, and despite having the best weather and most incredible beaches the resorts still lack one thing.....quality food. I can remember have the best time partying there, but all of my good Mexican food memories are from eating at Domino's Pizza or McDonald's. So you can imagine what the Gapetto crew is going through with the lack of quality food and wine. Mind you, they did bring their own wine and 3 packs of vaccum packed proscuitto (this isn't a lie, I watched them pack it with my own eyes).
The crew is used to eating fresh food from the restaurant, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that but just imagine the difference in quality from VT's to the Mexican resort. I mean.....when I'm getting a picture of Matt eating burgers there is a serious problem (...and the burger isn't a kobe patty on an artisan bun with $40 dijon mustard!!). It's straight horse meat on a week old bun and catsup.
Nonetheless, you can always leave it up to Sanchez to dig himself out of a bad situation by improvising and building his own menu at the buffet. At the restaurant he has an amazing Caprese Salad on the menu (as seen below), which is composed salad of vine ripened tomato, baby arugula and bocconcini cheese drizzled with rosemary oil and aged balsamic vinegar.
Then you take Sanchez and put him in Mexico with limited resources and this is what he does; He takes a tomato from the buffet and slices it to resemble a Caprese salad and stuff's it with sliced cheese and guacamole!! (actual pic from Sanchez below)
We will be starting a petition on the blog to have this item on the menu at VT's or Navarra or Restaurant 18 for at least a special!! With everyones help and cleanslacks I think we can make it happen.